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Did They Ban Egg Rolls Too?

Once again, Communism rears its ugly head to show just how repressive it is. It is pure evil as The People’s Republic of China has again demonstrated. China has outlawed strippers at funerals.

The heartless bastards!

It seems that many in rural China had started hiring exotic dancers to entertain at funerals or as one person put it, “to add to the fun” of the occasion. It was obviously a natural extension of traditional folk dancing.

I admit that when I first heard this I was both surprised and not just a little impressed that China actually had strippers. You just automatically assume that it would have been one of the first things on the Mao Top 40 hit list. But after my initial reaction subsided, I saw this for what it is – naked repression.

You won’t find that kind of repression in western democracies. Here we live in freedom and if we want a stripper at the funeral for old Uncle Jack, it is our God-given right to have one – or more – if it’s a really big funeral.

I’m just surprised it isn’t more popular here in western democracies. Certainly I would have thought it might be a bigger business than it is. We capitalists know how to make a buck on anything and certainly the funeral business is a cash cow with a captive market.

If there was ever a guaranteed long-term flow of customers the funeral business has it. The only thing that ever worries funeral companies is a reduction in the birth rate.

It seems odd to me that for an industry that has turned funerals into the ultimate form of consumerism, it missed the opportunity that funeral companies had latched onto in China. I would imagine that more than one capitalist has lumbered off to the next life after a lifetime of sexual debauchery and if properly promoted, no doubt there would be a real opportunity to make some extra cash by sending those guys off in style with a little bump and grind.

I know some of you are cautioning that strippers at funerals are unseemly and will never catch on here but I don’t see why not. We’re already pushing the boundaries beyond anything the Chinese dreamed up.

In January 2013, the death of a man who loved the holiday season inspired a Christmas-themed funeral featuring dancing, reindeer, snow, and a coffin on a sleigh in which he was sitting up dressed as Santa Claus.

In 2012, a man married his deceased fiancée at her funeral in a kind of ‘2 for 1’ thing although I doubt he got a discount from the presiding minister. It was one of those weddings where the words, “till death do us part” really had meaning.

In New Orleans, there is a new growing trend to dress the deceased in their best finery and prop them up sitting at tables or on their motorcycles or whatever at their wakes and funerals. They become silent participants in the celebration so to speak.

People have been buried in their cars, with their pianos and just about everything else you can imagine. Some weren’t buried at all – they were cryogenically frozen in order to be reanimated sometime in the future. It seems an irresponsible waste of money to have a funeral for someone who intends to come back later.

So, I think the Chinese government has overreacted. A little hootchie koo is probably a good thing at some funerals, especially if you’re not planning to have a religious funeral. Secular funerals can be fairly dull, drab affairs without all the praying and ritualizing so why not liven it up a bit with some good old fashioned wiggly jiggly.

It doesn’t have to be sexist with only nubile young female strippers. Bring in a few male strippers from Chippendales’.  That will get Aunt Mildred’s mind off her mourning and give her a reason to go on without Uncle Jack. Hell, it could be a fund raiser to help cover some of the cost of the funeral.

It’s odd that funeral companies in the west haven’t taken advantage of the opportunity – they rarely miss a trick but they missed this and hopefully they will soon catch up.

Funerals will be a whole lot more fun then and we once again will be able to demonstrate the superiority and freedom of our way of life.

It will be another victory of capitalism over communism.

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© 2015 Maggie’s Bear

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Twitter: @maggsbear – Facebook: Maggie’s Bear  – ivmaki@sympatico.ca

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  • JoeFrmEdm

    I was surprised too……….

  • charlie98

    who knew that Chine was so “progressive” /s

    • MaggiesBear

      Clearly there are some folks in China who know how to throw a party. Unfortunately, The Party doesn’t seem to enjoy a good party.