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Fifty Shades of Ghomeshi

promo-qpodcast-smAs if two home-grown terrorist attacks in one week weren’t enough, Canada is now gripped by a sex scandal involving, at least indirectly, the state-owned Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC).

No, Evan Solomon wasn’t found in a cheap motel room with an unidentified goat – but, you’re warm.

The host of one of the most popular radio shows on the CBC has been fired. In a terse public statement, the broadcaster announced that Jian Ghomeshi had been dismissed after “certain information had been brought to its attention”. Left there, the story probably wouldn’t have gone much further but it happened in Toronto and is what passes for show business in Canada so, of course, it wasn’t.

The Toronto Star with its usual high journalistic standards, came to the rescue with unsubstantiated, anonymous allegations by four woman of abusive sexual activity by Mr. Gomeshi. I tend to believe that if it wasn’t for unnamed, anonymous sources, The Star would have little to report every week.

In a pre-emptive effort to get out ahead of yet another bit of The Star’s brand of ‘gotcha’ journalism, Mr. Ghomeshi released his own statement on Facebook that not only provided some salacious admissions about his personal sex life, but more significantly (at least to me), was even longer than many of my blog posts.

It appears that more than a few Canadian journalists are now diving into this story like people on a diet diving face-first into a bowl of jujubes left unattended. By casual count, there have been at least a dozen if not more articles about this in just four major newspapers in the past 24 hours.

Now, the media are not just reporting the story, they’re becoming the story. Some are trying to justify why they ran it while others are criticizing them for publishing it.  Every national and major news outlet has reported, commented, moralized or criticized some aspect of the story since Sunday. Some are even pursuing stories discussing the legalities of rough sex.

Not you too Kernit -- you slut!

Not you too Kernit — you little green slut!

For pity’s sake, get over yourselves.

I’m not going to get into Mr. Ghomeshi’s sexual proclivities. I’m less than interested in them but for those of you who might be, you can read the full text of his epic Facebook post here.

I’ve read it but it was tough sledding. Not quite as tedious as reading War and Peace but certainly not as entertaining as reading about former NYC Mayoralty candidate Anthony Weiner’s sexting pictures of his wiener to young women. Now there was a sex scandal with some entertainment value but then the Americans always did cover this kind of thing better than our media; not as well as the British but certainly better than Canadians.

Mr. Weiner’s wiener even had sponsorship potential and it’s a wonder Oscar Meyer didn’t jump on board with financial support for his mayoralty campaign. The campaign slogan almost writes itself, “One wiener supports another.”

But I digress.

heelsFor its part, the CBC has remained silent which is appropriate. I don’t think I could bear to watch Peter Mansbridge and the At Issue Panel discussing BDSM on Thursday night. Imagine Andrew Coyne trying to explain the economics and politics behind tying up someone before whipping them. What if some of the panel started to twitch and drool?

I shudder just thinking about it.

I also don’t want to consider how Rex Murphy might use his extensive vocabulary to try and describe the mechanics of spanking. He might end up with a serious stutter and even hurt himself half way through his commentary.

Canada is too polite for such public exposés especially when you consider that Ottawa – yes I said Ottawa, the home of Canada’s civil service – was recently identified as the adultery capital of Canada. It seems touchingly appropriate to me, that Canadian bureaucrats – who put the meaning of grey into the phrase “Fifty Shades of Grey:” – are the brand standard for frisky business in this country.

Honestly, it all leaves me almost speechless.

Try as I might, I can’t get interested in this very tepid scandal. I’m trying but it’s all so bland, so terribly Canadian that I’m struggling just to find something to write and those of you who read my blog regularly know that being at a loss for words and brevity are not my long suits.

I don’t care what two consenting adults do at home. They can dress up in chicken costumes and swing clucking from the dining room chandelier for all I care. If it’s consensual and no small farm animals are hurt; it’s none of my business or anyone else’s either.chicken

If any of the allegations against Mr. Gomeshi are legitimate then one or more of the four women has recourse through the courts. If they are unprepared to come out of the shadows and file charges then it isn’t news and they don’t deserve a national media platform.

God save us if one or more of them have a video taken with their smart phones. There is more than enough boring drivel on YouTube as it is.

The bottom line for me is that Mr. Gomeshi seems to have been fired because of his sex life. Fine – we get it! Give it to the lawyers (as he has done) and let the courts decide if CBC’s management got it right or were just being inappropriately prudish.

But please. Spare us any more details. If I want lurid, sordid sex – I know where I can rent a couple of chicken suits.

         

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© 2014 Maggie’s Bear

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Twitter: @maggsbear – Facebook: Maggie’s Bear  – ivmaki@sympatico.ca

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