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Much Ado About Nothing – Painting The PM’s Plane

We just keep being besieged by scandal. They’re rolling out now at a rate of one a day and it’s all the Opposition Parties and the national media can do to keep up with them.

If it isn’t the abuse of privilege by sitting Senators, it’s the ongoing revelations about the former Liberal Government of Ontario that range from mismanagement of taxpayer money to the destruction of government documents in a ridiculously stupid attempt to cover things up. A mayor may – or may not – have been caught smoking crack on video and a mayor in London, Ontario is on trial for fraud while another former mayor in Quebec is being investigated for bribes, kick-backs and what the police like to refer to as ‘racketeering.

There was the scandal I wrote about yesterday involving Radio-Canada and it’s cavalier disregard for proper use of the French word ‘ici’ and hot on its heels comes the latest crisis to  hit the Opposition benches.

The aircraft used to jet the Prime Minister of Canada around has been repainted and in Conservative colours no less.

The original paint job

The original paint job

Here’s the sad truth about Canada. We can’t even paint an airplane without turning it into a scandal. Christ in Heaven! It’s an airplane. Who cares what colour the bloody thing is? Almost nobody sees it. When it’s flying, it’s 30,000 feet in the air. When it isn’t flying, it’s over behind a hangar somewhere and none of us see it then either or really care. The closest most of us ever get to it is a fleeting few seconds on some newscast where video of the PM getting on or off the thing is shown – and at that, most of us don’t even notice the colour. We’re waiting to see if he’ll trip going up or coming down the stairs.

The bloody thing could be painted green with yellow polka dots and 99% of us would never know – well wouldn’t know except for the fact that Canadian politicians and some in the media think that the new paint job on Canuck 1 is not only newsworthy but that the colour choice is scandalous.

The original paint job was grey. How absolutely perfect for Canada; dull, colourless and humourless. The new paint job has a bit of panache, a sense of style which I appreciate is terribly un-Canadian but it wouldn’t hurt to skate a little closer to the edge now and then. Who knows, we might even get to like having a little colour and humour in our lives.

But not everyone agrees unfortunately.

There was the New Democratic Party of Canada led by their fearless leader, Tommy Mulcair, rising to complain in the House of Commons about the nefarious schemes of the Conservatives to undermine the fabric of the nation by painting the PM’s jet in Conservative colours.

The scandalous new paint job

The scandalous new paint job

The horror of it!  Imagine how seriously Canadian unity and national pride are undermined because one military aircraft has been painted – get ready for it – red, white and blue.

I’m amazed that the NDP didn’t accuse the Prime Minister of trying to become an American. I could understand the indignation if the government had spent millions buying a new, unnecessary plane but to get this incensed over a paint job is like getting upset about your last car wash.

Quite frankly, if the NDP don’t like the new colours, they can always repaint the bloody thing when and if they form the government. They can either paint it orange to match their corporate colours or grey to match their personalities. In other words, a paint job isn’t permanent and they have options.

For the record, the aircraft was due for its mandatory five year paint job. Also for the record, the Royal Canadian Air Force paints its aircraft in a variety of different colours. Some are painted yellow, some red and white, many are grey and some, as hard as it will be to believe, are actually painted red, white and blue.  A few are painted camouflage but they blend in so well they’re invisible so it’s impossible to know what colour they actually are.

The Snowbirds, which is Canada’s aerial acrobatics team has been flying jets painted red, white and blue for decades.

The Snowbirds - Canada's aerial acrobatics team

The Snowbirds – Canada’s aerial acrobatics team

I honestly believe that the intellectual quotient of Canadian politicians and too many of my fellow citizens in general, is dropping faster than a hooker’s drawers when the fleet is in port.

We must be in better shape than I thought if this is all the opposition parties have to complain about. Good Lord. Demand a public inquiry. The government has painted a jet red, white and blue.

And on top of that – they’ve put the RCAF roundel on it, which as it turns out is – are the same colours as the plane. What a coincidence. Clearly it escaped the notice of the indignant that the official colours of the Royal Canadian Air Force are red, white and blue just like on their roundel.

Day after day, I see the most inane drivel spread across the land. There was a time when it only came from trolls on Facebook and Twitter who had the IQs of bunny rabbits and the attention spans of hamsters in heat but not anymore.

Now it’s the smart kids; the politicos and media pundits who are so thirsty to scoop another ‘gotcha’ moment that they’re like vampires trying to break into a blood bank. The thirst is palpable.

Give it a rest. Like most nations around the world, Canada has some serious issues to address. Government transparency and accountability, the economy, the environment, child poverty , terrorism and political corruption all come to mind. It would be nice, perhaps even useful, if we could all stay focused on those rather than what colour the Prime Minister’s plane has been painted.

Quite frankly, I think it looks significantly more stylish than the wimpy baby blue of Air Force I and a lot classier than Hugh Heffner’s old flying Black Bunny.

But whether it is nicer or not isn’t the issue. The issue is that it shouldn’t be an issue. Nobody should care what colour the damn plane is and certainly not enough to waste as much time writing and debating it as has already been wasted.

It makes you wonder how these folks can continue to expect to be taken seriously when they can’t differentiate between what is and isn’t a serious issue.


© 2013 Maggie’s Bear

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  • starfighter441

    As I said here yesterday, (dunno why my comment disappeared, it wasn’t indecent or anything) I noticed that no-one ever whined about the CC-137 being painted white and red for all of it’s time in service.

    • MaggiesBear

      I can’t explain where your original comment went. The Rant’s policy is that all comments are allowed to stand unless they are patently offensive as in racist or obscene. We don’t intentionally delete comments that take exception to what we write or even that call us names. We do find, however, that sometimes our comments software gets a tad ornery and the odd comment disappears into the ether.

      We’re glad you came back and reposted your comment.

      • starfighter441

        I did attach a link to a shot of the Sacred Cow, that might have been the problem.

        • MaggiesBear

          We do allow links as long as they’re relative and not spam. Try leaving a new comment with the link and we’ll see if it works this time.

  • sharon wilson

    Well if it was the first time the media ragged on a new paint job, it might be interesting.
    But the mm first reported this back in June 2012, then again in November….etc etc…

    • MaggiesBear

      That was our point. It isn’t news and certainly not something worth devoting so much debate and discussion to. We’ve got much more serious issues with which to contend. Someone said once that small things amuse small minds and that seems to be more than self-evident with some these days.

  • Frances

    Check out the new government websites – now a blue-grey with the red maple leaf. At a mini-conference about efiling with CRA a crack was made that now Conservative colours. Would have liked to stand up and point out the Liberals pre-empted the maple leaf red so what else was available.

    • MaggiesBear

      It’s amazing isn’t it? We are so out of whack as a society we even argue over colour. It’s unbelievable.

  • Cytotoxic

    It cost tens of thousands of dollars to repaint at taxpayer expense. You can whine all you want, people are unhappy.

    • Frances

      Because the plane is now in proper RCAF colours? Some people are just stuck on stupid.

    • MaggiesBear

      Take a pill. The plane was going to repainted as part of its normal five-year maintenance program. It wasn’t as if the PMO got up one morning and decided to just repaint the plane. There are lots of real issues to be unhappy about. Getting upset over this is petty and absurd.

      • oldwhiteguy

        the socialists would prefer the money be spent on bureaucratic welfare. more paper pushers intruding in our lives don’t you know.

        • MaggiesBear

          Which is why ‘grey’ probably would be the perfect colour to represent them.

          • oldwhiteguy


    • hollinm

      For God sakes give it a rest. As outlined there are far more important things to bitch about. Try taking a serious shot at some of the issues mentioned. Too tough or are you too simple in your thinking process that you can only focus on the colour of an airplane. Sheesh!

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