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Just What The Presidential Election Campaign Needed – A Candidate With Super Powers

Just when you thought it couldn’t get much weirder, someone comes along to prove to you that you were wrong and once again demonstrate that complacency, especially when the lunatic fringe is involved, is never a good thing.

Evangelist Bill Keller, founder of LivePrayer.com claims more than 1.6 million followers have signed his online pledge to vote for Jesus for president, as a write-in candidate in the upcoming 2012 election.

I always get the feeling when I bump into people like this that they think Jesus looks like Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees.

I have nothing against Jesus; in fact, I’m quite fond of him and believe he might even make a decent president, although I’ve never read anything anywhere to indicate that he would be interested in coming down from on high to actually get involved in the day-to-day haggling with Congress. To be honest, I don’t know why anyone would want to do that for four years, or more,which makes me question the motives, if not the sanity, of both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney….

….but I digress.

Pastor Bill has decided to get Jesus into the White House come Hell or high water. Considering the flooding that occurred as a result of Hurricane Sandy, perhaps he’s half way there. Certainly this election campaign, if not Hell, has been its own kind of purgatory for most of us but surely the last thing we need is another candidate, especially one that has super powers.

Besides, everyone knows Jesus wasn’t born in the USA, he was born in Bethlehem and like Arnold Schwatzennager, who was born in Austria, Jesus isn’t eligible to run for the presidency. Rules are rules, Reverend Bill. (One can only imagine the level of argument over his birth certificate if Jesus ever decided to run for President)

According to the good Pastor:

“President Obama has proven by his words and deeds to be a true enemy of God… He is a staunch advocate of the radical homosexual agenda, and he has been a great friend to the enemies of Israel.”

He isn’t any happier with Mitt Romney’s practice of the Mormon faith either:

“If Mitt Romney is elected, he will be the fulfillment of his cult’s polygamist, pedophile, racist, con artist, murdering founder Joseph Smith’s ‘white horse’ prophecy.”

(Note to self: look up White Horse prophecy later. I hope it’s more positive than the Mayan calendar prophecy.)

Based on Reverend Bill’s analysis, there doesn’t seem to be much to choose from there but here’s the thing that gets to me about the Reverend Bill and his presidential campaign for Jesus. 

Christianity is a faith that is based on two fundamental principles: love God, love your neighbour. That’s it, that’s all. There’s nothing in there about preaching highly prejudiced, hate rhetoric against gays, Mormons or politicians (although I’m personally convinced that there might have been some stuff in the Gospels about politicians if they ran election campaigns back then the way they’re run today).

But despite the simplicity of the message, you have wingnuts like Terry Jones gleefully burning the Koran and the Reverend Bill spewing almost the same distorted garbage in his write-in campaign for Christ as the Obama and Romney campaign strategists and spin doctors have been doing for months in their respective campaigns.

Where do these people come from? Is there something besides fluoride in their water? Some of the stuff in this election campaign is so bizarre, that I’m sure that the people behind much of it must have been exposed to a radiation leak at some point in their lives that has not only fried their brains but put them in serious jeopardy of glowing in the dark.

And before those among us who are non-believers start pointing fingers at the lunacy of being Christian, let me point out that there is more than enough stupidity going around on all sides of the spiritual backwaters of those who believe and those who don’t.

Every day, I see posts and tweets about Mitt Romney and Barack Obama that are so patently untrue or out of context, I wonder if the people who posted them actually have enough brain power to tie their own shoelaces or if they still wear shoes with Velcro straps.

Yesterday, for example, I saw a post that got circulated around about Mitt Romney vetoing new funds for flood control back in 2004 when he was Governor. There was no context for that decision other than Hurricane Sandy had just hit and obviously Mitt Romney would have decimated emergency funding for the relief effort if he was president. The bright light that started this post obviously missed the fact that President Obama proposed cutting just under $1 billion from FEMA in September 2011. It’s detailed on pages 94-96 of the White House’s Sequestration Proposal to Congress.

Fortunately, for everyone dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy today, Congress rejected the President’s proposed cuts.

It’s that lack of thinking and analysis, the lack of objectivity that is undermining this election and now, there is Pastor Bill and his merry band of Jesus For President adherents who not only make a mockery of the democratic process but trivialize Christ down to a petty, small God of no greater stature than any of the other presidential candidates. They may be accomplished men but divine they ain’t!

The only thing missing in this campaign is some idiot coming along and offering an outrageous amount of money for one of the candidate’s school transcripts. Oh wait! Donald Trump already did that so I guess he qualifies. I forgot that for a moment. Let’s move along.

In retrospect, I guess this campaign isn’t missing anything after all.

It has had it all including the hysteria over gay marriage; absurd, one-sided accusations of racism; endless discussions about Big Bird and binders full of women; a mainstream media that for the most part is disgracefully and deliberately ignoring the Administration’s clumsy attempt to cover-up the truth about the death of four Americans in Benghazi and, of course, CNNs in-depth coverage of Honey Boo Boo’s opinions about who should be president.

Rock on Wolf, Soledad and the entire CNN team!

It’s hard to believe that almost $2 billion has been spent to trivialize the office of President of the United States during this campaign but it has and it is. Perhaps it makes perfect sense, under those conditions, to toss in a divine candidate with super powers so that we can trivialize him as well.

Jesus for President? Why not, as the song says, “Jesus – he’s my friend”. Sing it with me one time brothers and sisters.

Amen and Halleluiah!


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